Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Ode to Speaker Quinn

Today I hopped the turnstyle at the subway. My 30 day card had expired, but I made a deal with myself to extend it.

I got to the car and the meter read zero. I wrote a letter and put it in the orange envelope "Not guilty Your Honor. The time had expired, but I made a deal with myself to extend it."

My boss was looking for me at 3pm. When I finally got back to work I said "Get off my ass. My lunch hour - it's extended."

When the movie ended, I sat through it again. I told the kid whose seat I took, "Stand in the lobby, Junior, I'm extending this through another 'Beverly Hils Chihuahua'."

When I lit my cigar at the Met, I told Madam Butterfly "The law said smoking was allowed here in 1955, and I'm extending it."

Joba Chamberlain threw 10 pitches right by me. He asked the ump why I was still at the plate. The umpire said "He's decided to extend the at bat as long as he wants."

I extend these things and get away with it. I make my own laws - and just change the ones that inconvenience me, just like our City Council.